Sunday, January 18, 2015

Interesting Threads from the Paizo Message Boards



For a while I've been collecting links to interesting threads on message boards. Here's a roundup of some from the Paizo boards. Note that whereas some of them lean more towards the Pathfinder system and Golarion world, many are generic/systemless enough to be useful to people using other game systems.

The links are sorted first by subject, then alphabetically.

 Sorted by Subject

Adventure/Dungeon Building/Ideas
11th Level Evil Necromancer Dies.. (Ideas about coming back from the grave)
Angelic Invasion of an Evil Nation
"Dungeon" that is not actually a dungeon  (Sites that function as dungeons but aren't actual dungeons in description)
Good vs. Good
Motivations for a magic-hating baddie
Things a DM can put in a dungeon to totally mess with players
Villain of the Week Ideas
 
Character Ideas
My Ranger Has Favored Enemy Because...
Theme of your summoner and eidolon
What concepts would you jump excitedly at the chance to play?
Villain of the Week Ideas
Wacky Wizard Idea
Where does your sorcerer's power come from?

Humor
 1d20 Ways to Kill PCs with a Gazebo
(Silly) I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for..
 You know the GM is out to get you when...
 Rules of Golarion (Humor)
 The Many Things Adventures Do That Are Weird
Things you don't want the party necromancer to say (Humor)
You know the GM is out to get you when...
 Wacky Wizard Idea

Lists, Assorted Motivations, Reasons, and Other Things
Battle Cries
Motivations for a magic-hating baddie
Reasons for a Tavern Brawl
Reasons to leave town
Reasons to stay in town
Reasons You Are With Your Party
Reasons why somebody is a necromancer
Things a DM can put in a dungeon to totally mess with players
Things the villain is doing when "scrying" is cast on him

Pathfinder/Golarion-centric
Rules of Golarion (Humor)
Theme of your summoner and eidolon
Who is in secret a veiled master (Golarion/Aboleth centric)

Player/GM Advice
Being good without being boring
Didn't We Kill You? Methods For Recurring Active Villains
How do you come up with names?
Let's hash out some ideas on how to get 2 rival gangs to leave the city
New GM dealing with a difficult player
Not accepting surrender (without being evil)

Random Tables
See Lists, Assorted... 

Stories of Actual Play
Dire croc antics

Sources of Inspiration
 Examples of 2 good guys fight 1 bad guy? (from mythology, folklore, literature, and pop culture)
I Want To Adventure Here (photographic inspiration)
Steampunk RPG Recommendations

World/Setting Building (See also: Adventure/Dungeon Building/Ideas)
Alternate Ways of Preventing Gods from Interfering
Being good without being boring
"Dungeon" that is not actually a dungeon  (Sites that function as dungeons but aren't actual dungeons in description)
Good vs. Good

Sorted Alphabetically

1d20 Ways to Kill PCs with a Gazebo (Mostly Humor)
11th Level Evil Necromancer Dies.. (Ideas about coming back from the grave)
Alternate Ways of Preventing Gods from Interfering
Angelic Invasion of an Evil Nation
Battle Cries
Being good without being boring
Cool Battle Locations
Didn't We Kill You? Methods For Recurring Active Villains
Dire croc antics
"Dungeon" that is not actually a dungeon  (Sites that function as dungeons but aren't actual dungeons in description)
Examples of 2 good guys fight 1 bad guy?
Evil Fighter Catches Lycanthropy from a Werebear... During the Night of the First...
Good vs. Good
How do you come up with names?
Let's hash out some ideas on how to get 2 rival gangs to leave the city
The Many Things Adventures Do That Are Weird
Motivations for a magic-hating baddie
My Ranger Has Favored Enemy Because...
New GM dealing with a difficult player
Not accepting surrender (without being evil)
Reasons for a Tavern Brawl
Reasons to leave town
Reasons to stay in town
Reasons You Are With Your Party
Reasons why somebody is a necromancer
Rules of Golarion (Humor)
(Silly) I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for..  (Humor)
 Steampunk RPG Recommendations
Theme of your summoner and eidolon
Things a DM can put in a dungeon to totally mess with players
Things the villain is doing when "scrying" is cast on him
Things you don't want the party necromancer to say (Humor)
You know the GM is out to get you when...  (Humor)
Wacky Wizard Idea
What concepts would you jump excitedly at the chance to play?
Where does your sorcerer's power come from?
Who is in secret a veiled master (Golarion/Aboleth centric)
Villain of the Week Ideas

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Union Henchman Background (Nodwick Conversion)





Union Henchman
Skill Proficiencies: Athletics, Investigation
Languages: One of your choice
Tool Proficiencies: One of your choice
Starting Equipment: A backpack, three large sacks, 4 belt pouches, a crowbar, an outfit of commoner's clothes, 50 ft. of hemp rope, saddlebags, a pouch with 10 copper pieces, and a backache



Like the resurrectionist, you are a member of an often exploited and underrated but still highly valued profession of minions. You are the hapless pawn of an adventuring party, bound by the draconian contracts that make all of your kind highly expendable. Your duties include lugging around huge loads of treasure, acting as meat shield, and testing for traps and dangers the hard way. Although you belong to the Henchman’s Union, this is to your detriment, for the Union is merely a tool in the service of the Adventurer’s Guild.

Feature: Innocuous
Because of your lowly henchman nature, you are easily dismissed as entirely irrelevant by many people. People will often speak as if you’re not present and entirely ignore you, possibly allowing you to learn secrets you ought not to be privy to. On the other hand, your innocuous, disposable nature somehow makes you an attractive first target for many monsters, especially those of a hungry persuasion.

Suggested Characteristics
The primary trait necessary for a henchman’s survival is toughness, for they of all people will be exposed the most to the lethal dangers of adventuring. Having a high strength is also important for carrying all the useless trinkets adventurers force them to carry. Many henchmen are also surprisingly and ironically genre savvy, either learning through the school of hard knocks or falling into the henchman role through little fault of their own in the first place.  The henchman has a tendency for pragmatic common sense that his “superiors” often lack.

Personality Characteristics (1d8)
1.       I make snarky comments at the foolhardiness of my employers.
2.       I act in my employer’s best interest, even if it means twisting their orders a little bit.
3.       I constantly bemoan the futility of our existence.
4.       I treat my employers as children and try to steer them towards more rational plans of action.
5.       I don’t stick my nose into other people’s business unless it directly involves me.
6.       I never do anything I’m not asked to do.
7.       I admire one of my bosses but hate the rest.
8.       I always try to look on the sunny side of things. At least I’m not a bard.

Ideals (1d6)
1.       Service (Lawful): Although I may not like them, I am bound to serve the orders of my employers.
2.       Resignation (Neutral): My horrible situation can’t be helped. There’s no reason to get attached to escaping it.
3.       Mentorship (Good): On paper, I’m a mere tool. Still, I hope to steer my employers towards the path of wisdom and righteousness.
4.       Rationalization (Evil): I can justifiably get away with all sorts of horrible atrocities.
5.       Pragmatism (Any): Let’s go with what works.
6.       Self-Preservation (Chaotic):  Although I’ve got to follow orders, I’m still looking out for my own survival first.

Bond (1d6)
1.       I have some massive debts I have to pay off.
2.       Some of my old employers have been captured. I’m required to rescue them.
3.       I’m very religious as I’ve come to know my patron deity on a first name basis.
4.       Pain helps remind me I’m still alive.
5.       I’ve heard of a way to escape my contract. And I’ll be (more) damned if I won’t find it.
6.       I have a secret crush on one of my bosses. I feel horrible about it.

Flaws (1d6)
1.       I have a deathwish. That’s why I became a henchman.
2.       I always give in to my employer’s demands. What’s the use in resisting?
3.       I’m frequently tempted to betray my employers and turn to the path of the Darkhench.
4.       I can’t stand the stupidity of my employers!
5.       I fraternize with the enemy. They’re usually in the same boat as I am.
6.       I chuckle at my bosses’ misfortunes.


(This background takes heavy inspiration from the Nodwick comic and in particular the Henchman 3e character class in Nodwick #13. I highly recommend it. I may end up doing a full conversion of the class someday.)

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Super Dangeon Man! (With Apologies to Johnny Rivers)


And now for something entirely different, a song parody for Akenia or other settings. Was originally posted elsewhere for a theme song request of the following picture:


"Super Dangeon Man!" to the Tune of "Secret Agent Man!" (With apologies to Johnny Rivers)

There's a man who plays a game of danger
To every foe he meets he is a slayer
With every roll he makes another chance to fail
Odds are he won't live to see the treasure

SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN, SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN
Bling’s given you an XP number and taken away your shame

Beware of pretty trinkets that you find
A pretty glimmer can hide an cursed item
Ah, be careful to whom you pray
Or you'll get smote for blasphemay
Odds are you won't live to see the treasure

SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN, SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN
Bling’s given you an XP number and taken away your shame
SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN, SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN
Bling’s given you an XP number and taken away your shame

Swingin' around like Simon Belmont one day
And then layin' dead in the cemetery next day
Oh no, you let your negative plane protection slip
While kissing vampiric lips
The odds are you won't live to see the treasure

SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN, SU-PER DAN-GEON MAN
Bling’s given you an XP number and taken away your shame
SUPER DANGEON MAN

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Legend of the Aboleth: Remnants of the Great God Soul



The Legend of the Aboleth: Remnants of the Great God Soul
By Anonymous
Introduction: Too Many Questions

The wisest of sages on the ancient and the unnatural will tell you the aboleth have no fondness for the divine entities we call gods.  And for good reason (from the aboleths’ perspective), they claim they were around before the gods, nay the multiverse itself, ever existed. Their collective racial memory (or should I say racial memories, more on that later) certainly seems to go back that far. Thus, the aboleths dismiss the gods are merely interlopers.   In fact, the aboleth actively try to subvert the religions of man for their own purposes, many times merely to spite the gods.
Despite the aboleths’ aggression towards the gods and their faithful, the gods don’t smite the entire race. Why is this? The aboleths have no gods. They are not protected by any divine treaty. Are the gods withholding something?

For that matter, are the aboleths themselves holding back something? If they are as ancient as they claim, how do they have such power over our bodies (fleshwarping) and minds (domination)? Why does their chief servitor race (the Skum) resemble us in shape and size so much?  Questions, questions, and more questions.

Although I cannot identify myself to you, dear reader, know that I only have the friendliest of intentions. I have scoured many an ancient planar scroll and consulted many an ancient primordial to answer our heavy questions.  From these disparate sources, I have discovered the following story that will answer them all. It is a story most will refute- from the gods to the aboleths itself. It is also a long story. But it is an essential story, for only is it a story of the aboleth, it is a story of all of creation.

http://spiralmagus.deviantart.com/art/Aboleth-476330059


The Beginnings of Creation: The Waters of Chaos and the Soul of Order

Legends speak of a time long ago. A long, long time ago, before the time of man, before the great empires of the elves rose and fell, before even the split between gods and mortals was a thing.  Back when the universe was young, back before the world as we know it had even been born, there was only the primordial Voids of Chaos. (Chaos being used as the best approximation we can make using our mortal minds.)  Chaos’ primordial waters were awash with commotion, with activity, with what might be conceived of as life, or a proto-life.  Yet, because there were no eyes to see, no ears to hear, and no nerves to feel, so all was dark, quiet, and still.

There dwelled in the dark, deep vastness of Chaos  one thing, a something, a form of what we might naively call “Order”, something that directed the ebb and flow of Chaos and kept it from tearing itself apart.  What was this “form” of Order like?  The closest translation in the Common Tongue is somewhere between “Collective Soul Pool” and “Great God Soul.”  As this was the ancestor mind to all aboleth today, we shall call it the Great Aboleth Soul.

The Great Aboleth Soul was so great it would be infinite to us, yet it was finite compared to the greater Mass of Chaos.  And Chaos kept expanding, growing, bloating beyond even the Soul’s ability to control and regulate.  So the Aboleth Soul split its mass (though not its essence) into many parts- its Vessels.  Whereas before there was one Whole that could do so much by itself, there were now many Vessels that could act on Their own.  Yet because they were all of One Collective Soul, they would act all together, forming more than the sum of the Vessels, its parts- a Gestalt.

The Great Aboleth Soul wanted Chaos to be put into a form that was easy to observe and, more importantly, to control.  So it sent out its Vessels hither and yon to bind Chaos into material forms, creating the first proto-worlds.  But as these first proto-worlds were formed, the Vessels observed that the Chaos bound within the material churned at a face pace with small complexities boggling to the Great Aboleth Soul.  It needed quick-lived agents, of finite mortality, that could observe and interact with the material on its own terms.

The Creation of the First Servitor Race



And so the Great Aboleth Soul began to shed tiny flakes off of its Proto-matter “skin” and bind it into full material forms, creating a distinct Servitor Race for the first time.  Unlike the Vessels, the Servitor Race had no direct access to the Collective Soul, but went through the Vessels.  But yet they were made of the same Divine Flesh as the Great Aboleth Soul, so it still counted the Servitors as part of itself.  Of course, they were only the flakes of its skin given proto-sentience. So with what perhaps the first instance of Humor, the Great Aboleth Soul named the First Servitor race the Skum. And the name has somewhat lingered with us to this day.

And so the Skum built within the proto-worlds as the Vessels built without.  Deeper and deeper into the proto-worlds the Skum crawled in, building at the first truly formed matter- things like solids, liquids, and gases.  In the later stages, the Skum fabricated the first true forms of “life.”  All at the behest of the Great Aboleth Soul through the telepathic orders of its Vessels.  The Verse was becoming more and more complicated, for such is the nature of Imagination, even then in those most early of times.

The Vessels Enter the Proto-Worlds

And so with the fabrication of the proto-worlds, the Collective Soul developed the first true imagination, a Divine Imagination.  The Imagination almost took on a life of its own, twisting and forming the matter and Life of the proto-worlds into the first primitive watery ecosystems.  The Great Aboleth Soul experienced the First Pride at the abundance of life it had created. It originally intended to make these proto-worlds self-sustaining so that it could return to its task of shaping Chaos. Yet this might have proved to be its undoing.

As the proto-worlds developed and became too complex, some of the Skum builders became lost and separated from their Vessel commanders. The proto-worlds were becoming so deep; they were forming Voids of Chaos of their own. The loss of the Skum builders forced some of the Vessels to swim into the proto-worlds for the first time.  As with any big first step, many Vessels became lost. Some became mentally warped, hopelessly addicted to the first Sensations in the proto-worlds.  Others were attacked and destroyed by the primitive lifeforms that could sense the greater but alien nature of the Vessels.  Yet still others were simply torn asunder by the waters of Chaos that seeped in from the deep Voids within the proto-worlds.

With the telepathic death throes of the Vessels went through, the Skum became panicked.  Nearly insane without some connection to the Great Aboleth Soul, the Skum builders thrashed about hopelessly for some time before reverting to their preprogrammed builder natures. Ultimately, they would follow the last signals from their masters and build what from was there, even if it happened to be the dead masses of the Vessels themselves. 

Meanwhile, the Great Aboleth Soul was taken aback for the first time. Although the Soul never lost any of its true Essence, the loss of its Vessels caused its First Pain. It realized even its Vessels couldn’t handle material form without some sort of material body to contain the Essence. So the Aboleth Soul wrapped its Vessels in organic sheaths, the first forms vaguely recognizable as aboleths by modern humanity.  



The Great Aboleth Soul called forth its Sheathed Vessels into the proto-worlds. This time they were prepared and swiftly restored Order to the proto-worlds, gathering together the majority of the wayward Skum.  And now that the Vessels were part of the proto-worlds, they became true worlds proper.  Under the watchful directions of the Vessels, the Skum took control of these worlds.
The first Great Aboleth Empire was born.

The Golden Age of the Aboleth



And so the First Golden Age of the Aboleth dawned.  Using the Skum as skilled craftsman might use his fingers, the Sheathed Vessels wove ever more elaborate tapestries of worlds.  The Sheathed Vessels were astonished by the needs of material lifeforms, not only for mere physical sustenance but psychological sustenance as well.  In response, the Vessels began fabricating huge and elaborate cities, not merely for them to rest or hold food, but to be pleasing.  Modern creatures would not recognize these cities for what they were, for they were more like great, twisting colossal reefs and caves that would later form the basis for our land continents of the present day.   There was no clear distinction between one monolithic reef cavern began and another ended. Back then, there was little need for such distinction.

While the Sheathed Vessels worked the Voids inside the worlds, the Outer Vessels wove the Voids between worlds.  To keep the worlds form colliding, the Outer Vessels pushed them apart, far away from each other in the Voids of Chaos.  They began creating an interstitial web of ether to fill the Voids between worlds.

And so the Great Aboleth Soul experienced the First Contentment, Order was directing Chaos once again. But this Contentment was also the First Complacency, for the Aboleth Soul had overlooked a Void, a Void so deep it came not from the Chaos, but from the Aboleth itself.  The rogue Skum builders who had mistakenly woven Vesselflesh had not all been brought back into the fold or destroyed. Some merely disappeared into the deepest depths of the worlds.

The Builders of the Forbidden

Back when the Great Aboleth Soul sent its Vessels unprotected into the proto-worlds, many of its Vessels died horribly.  The Core Essence, its Spirit if you will, remained unharmed as all as it existed in all the Vessels equally. However, the Soul did lose Mass. Some bits of the unsheathed Vessel bodies could not be retrieved.  As they lost contact with the Aboleth Soul, many of the Skum builders went into a confused building frenzy.  Of these, some mistakenly wove Vesselflesh into the world around them, creating something that wasn’t there before: independent divinities.

Although the lost Vesselflesh retained none of the Aboleth Soul’s Essence, it still held a mark of the Aboleth’s power coming from its Mass.  And coming from the Aboleth mass itself, it was something greater than the reality that tore it apart unprotected.  The maddened Skum gave the displaced Vesselflesh forms to protect them, forms like themselves, for the forms of the Vessels were beyond their understanding.   The Vesselflesh bodies, now clad in material sheaths, became the first truly free-willed entities. They looked upon the miserable desperation of the Skum builders and answered, giving them direction and mental shelter once again. Thus, these rogue Vesselflesh bodies became the first proto-gods.

Yet the Vesselflesh is not the only thing that changed.  The Skum builders who wove the flesh were transformed by the mere act of transmuting them, much like transmuting lead into gold is said to bring Enlightenment to mortals this very day.  The Skum builders evolved- they gained their first independent thoughts. And shortly thereafter, they spoke their First Words.  The First Words translate to “Godflesh Weavers,” to which they named themselves after, the Koa Toa!


(To be continued...)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

1d12 Creepy Customizations for Undead



1d12 Creepy Customizations for Undead Minions


Happy New Years! And what better to celebrate the BIRTH of something  with the celebration of something DEAD!

Sometimes a GM wants to emphasize EEEVILLL magic with a capital E. So here’s a random table to show how black-hearted some black hat necromancers can be. Roll or choose on the following table to determine the favored motif for any given evil necromancer’s mindless undead.

1.       Composite Undead- The undead is not made from a single corpse or even from a single species. Its body parts are strangely cobbled together and shouldn’t even work together.  How they are held together can be anything- stitches, bolts and clamps, even fleshwarped together, so long as the thing looks monstrous. Replace at least one of the undead’s normal natural attacks with a random other one (or even a built in melee weapon). Optionally, its movement might change as well.


2.       Crude Cyborg- the undead is powered as much by blasphemous science as it is by magic. Rivets and bolts drilled right into the flesh and bones hold the abomination together. Clamps and gears move its joints. Every few seconds the creature gives off puffs of steam or smoke. 

3.       Disgusting Sounds- The undead gives out offensive or nauseating sounds as it moves and attacks. These sounds may be purely visceral (such as pockets of foul gas being released from a particularly noxious undead), horrific (a chorus of blasphemous whispers), or even a brown note.

4.       Font of Entropy- the necromancer was quite sloppy in forging a connection between the negative energy plane and the now rapidly decaying undead minion.  It pollutes the ground it walks upon with traces of leaking negative energy, rendering the land barren.  Necromantic sludge drips from the undead’s orifices and cavities, burning skin and withering plants touched by the sludge. 



5.       Happy, happy, joy, joy! -  Contrary to the stereotypical image of the necromancer as dour and grey, this necromancer favors always looking upon the sunny side of life. The undead are dressed in bright colors, and their faces are twisted into exaggerated parodies of normal smiles. They may even give the party salutations and expressions of warm, fuzzy feelings as they rip them limb from limb.

6.       Infernally Powered- The undead body is animated by the fires of hell instead of the dread energy of the negative material plane. The necromancer is more of a diabolist who condemned the victim’s soul to hell instead of merely animating their body.  The undead is unusually warm to the touch, smells of sulfur, and its eyes burn with the faint hint of hellfire. Like with the soul lobotomy, the undead will randomly cry out for mercy from its horrible fate.

7.       Runecarved- Blasphemous runes have been carved right into the body’s flesh or bones, defiling the corpse.  The runes may glow like hellfire or swirl around on the body unnaturally. 

8.       Soul lobotomy- The undead is powered by the original soul that inhabited the body. The necromancer stripped away enough of the soul to deny the victim independent will, but kept enough of the soul to keep the minion ambulatory and able to process orders.  The undead minion retains little mannerisms of the original person or creature it animated from, and it tends to revert to grotesque parodies of its former life when not following the necromancer’s orders. Once per every few rounds of combat, the undead’s psyche may become lucid enough to realize its horrible condition and thereby react appropriately.

9.       Uncanny Valley- The undead is well preserved, too well preserved. It looks living, but something is off about it, wrong. It might be anything- facial expression, the angle of how it stands, or how the flesh hangs off of its musculature or bones. 

10.   Unnatural Locomotion- The necromancer has forced the undead to move in a fashion most unnatural. If it would normally move upright, the creature scuttles along the ground on all of its legs. If it would normally move on all of its limbs, it has been forced to move in an awkward upright stance. Creaks and groans betray the stress unnatural gait puts on creature’s limbs.



11.   Vermin Infested- The undead is host to a plague of vile vermin- a swarm of spiders, wasps, maggots, rats, leeches, worms, or other such undesirable pests resides within the undead. This might be obvious (worms writhing around beneath the skin of a zombie’s gut or bugs flying out of a skeleton’s orifices). On the other hand, the undead might give no warning before it explodes and releases it cargo.

12.   Weeping Blood- Bloody tears continually streams from the undead’s eyes.  At the DM’s option, the blood might have the reverse effect of the Font of Entropy necromantic sludge- making life grow instead of blighting it. After all, blood makes the grass grow green, rah, rah, RAH!